Real significant peoplein my life so far.... | |||
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Where do I start? well I was conceived in
'49 and born the next year. Since the 50st weddinganiversary of mum and dad is approaching I dug up their old weddingpicture. I think they were an extremely handsome couple. My mum looked like Judy Garland. After I was born they produced two more boys:
At the time this picture was taken I had my first gay experiences and I'm not telling lies! | ||
| I really had my first gay sex at 4. I did have sessions of sucking little dickies behind the nurses backs at kindergarden. Unfortunately no pictures were ever made to record these sessions. Pity!
At grammerschool I had one friend over the years, Martien was his name.
We were just buddies, but he had a younger brother called Bert, who had
an enormous dick that I admired very much. I also remember being found
out by my mother with schoolfriends all with our pants down in the
garden shed. I fell in love for the first time at age 12, but no pix remain of that too. The first one to make it to this report amazingly is a woman! |
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I met her at the local youth centre, we set up around '65 and were in it's first commitee. She managed to get me to come out about being gay, then quite a hard thing in an agricultural community at age 20. Two years after that she convinced me that is was a good idea for us to get married. Amazingly it was: we had a few years of great fun. |
| But the novelty wore off and I had started studying architecture, where lots of good looking boys were around. That's where I met Bob. We did a few projects together. they were the excuse to visit him at incredibly early hours so I would catch him still in bed and naked, being beautifull and sexy. He never was in a hurry to get dressed. | |
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| Being married, the affair with Bob took us to the threesome stage. We lived together for about 3 years, but living and sleeping arrangements became quite complicated. We all slept with the others for 2 days a week leaving 3 days of sleeping alone. Which in turn got me to rediscover Delft gay circles. I had been there before but stopped during the marriage years. I met quite a lot of new friends there who came to play a major part in my life since. First of them comes Pieter, who made me see how ridiculous our living arrangements had become. He was a tall powerfull caracter. Shipbuilder and amateur actor, who got me interested in theatre, where I found my profession since. His last years he moved to Amsterdam where he worked at the Scheepvaartmuseum. I had my pied-a-terre and fun with him till he died of Aids in 1993 | .
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We finally decided to change living arrangements. Bob and Yvon moved out. They are still together to this day and have 3 kids (3 boys too, as does my brother). I still see them regularly, but not enough. When they moved out, other gay friends moved in. Although I was fed up with longterm relationships and had decided on not starting new affairs with the people I lived with there were a few exeptions. Wijnand for one, was too beautifull to have around and not to have sex every once in a while. |
| This picture does go on . . . . I thought of cutting off the legs, but decided against it! |
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Wijnand neighbour upstairs was by Pietje, a very colorfull local celebrity. Open gay at age
12, very dominant, actor too, made the Oostsingel a non stop party
house for the duration of his stay. And a bit of a mess too. |
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We did a gay play around 1976 called "aardige jongens" It was the first gay play in this country, so lots of publicity and all those famous (some then still closeted, but not the once named here) gay actors came
to see. Admiraal, Tholen, Enklaar (who I worked with years later again). At that time we started a discussion group in Den Haag. One of the guys in it was André. We had a short stormy affair. Wonderfull nights in Den Haags gay bars: Lola's Place, D&S, Boko, Venice, Scheveningse bos, strand, pfew! The discussion group has transformed into a dinnerclub that still exists after 25 years. |
| Rogier and I had a sort-of affair for a while. I stayed at his place a lot (he was very young though! only 17 and still lived with his parents). It's not very wise to mix business with pleasure and the Softies was becoming business, making him my employee, a real minefield, we luckily survived without real injury. He now owns one of the major theatre sound companies in the Netherlands. |
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| One more person
should be in the Softies period. Michiel was the only one in the group
who could really sing. I did spend an entire winter at his tiny
squatted place on de Rustenburgerstraat in de Pijp. Lots of jenever
passed between us because it was really cold there, but it was cosy
too under the blankets, just as in Pijpelijntjes, the book by J.I. de
Haan, who also wrote the text on the homomonument. Years later I met him in New York where I did a dance piece and he was writing. At a dinnerparty thrown in our honour by the Cultural Attaché (not Rein then) we all got sick from poisoned seafood. Michiel told me there he had been fucked by a beautiful black boy in the back of a taxi. He wondered wether that was safe. |
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| I said the obvious: "as long as
the driver kept his eyes on the road". Well it turned out not to be safe.
He got aids and almost died, about which Stephan Sanders, who played flute
in the Softies, even wrote a book and columns in de Volkskrant. Luckily
the HIV-coctail drugtreatment came around just in time, so Michiel is still
alive and kickin' He wrote me this to add to these events: "Wat leuk dat ik er ook een plaatsje in heb gekregen! Met foto en al... Over die geschiedenis in New York: ik heb er een artikel in de Homologie over geschreven, toentertijd (was dat in 1986?). Dat verhaal over die zwarte jongen in de taxi staat er ook in: hij heeft me toen niet geneukt, zoals jij beweert, maar wel heerlijk gepijpt. Weet je nog, dat daarover toen ook al zo moeilijk gedaan werd? Ik wilde je alleen even laten weten, dat ik bijgod niet weet wie me HIV heeft bezorgd... Ik denk zelf dat de besmetting al jaren en jaren eerder heeft plaatsgevonden, toen het woord aids nog niet bestond... (weet je nog wel?)" | ||
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Coen (left)arrived at the end of the Softies era, when I refocussed on Delft a bit more. He was in his coming out period and ended up living at the Oostsingel. Where he made life hard for every other inhabitant by throwing parties every other night and that forced me to kick him out. He still is a good friend and partyanimal though. Well, I am riding a motorcycle these days and am into the leather / SM circuit. |
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| This is where I found Chris (right), I had sex with him three times in the Shaft darkroom before we had our first conversation. He worked in Burkina Fasso, and now in ther BRD that's why we manage to get along for so long. He's got a really great dick, a vintage Peugeot car and very sensitive nipples. |
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The last picture is of my good friend Willem Kok, who I got to know in the early nineties. He makes incredible drawings. I liked them so much that I tried to contact him. He made
a few pix of me (included the one with the light I use as logo) After Pieter died his place became my Amsterdam pied-a-terre. Unfortunately he now too has died, not of Aids, but longcancer. I'd rather have a recent photo of him here, but he does not like pix of how he looks now. This one was in de Telegraaf it shows us both in "het Mandje" during the Gay Games |
| There were of course so many others that I should have mentioned. Rein, Frank and all those I have no photographs of. But maybe I better end it here, with some final thoughts about, you've guessed it: the Virus. It seems like I was spared thusfar. But that was more luck then wisdom. I found out in retrospect that in 1979 when I toured the USA and Canada extensively and fucked my way around like there was no tomorrow, I was trailed by Patiënt Zero, the Canadian flightattendant, who was one of the initial spreaders of aids. The US centre for desease control tried to track him down. I just missed him by days: everywhere I was he showed up days later. I was so amazed to learn that when I saw the movie about him. A year later I gave up on fucking after we did the first safesex acts with the Softies (that's also in the Dutch gay historybooks). I am now slowly getting into fucking again, and am as many others once again tempted by the bareback concept. Who knows, what will happen next. |  | |
| And now you still want to know what the plane is doing on the introductionpic to this page? Well, it points exactly at my bedroom, center of my universe of course, with in the middle an ultra exhibitionist glass shower, where you cansee and be seen by all of The Haque (if the wheather's right). The plane actually was hanging there in 1999 to celebrate 100 years of "Studenten Corps", a fraternaty-organisation for rich students without brains. | |
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